29/02/2012
28/02/2012
Police State
Fascist Bastards!!!
Don't tell me what to do!!!
I'll drink what I want, where I want!!!
I'm going to do me some Street Drinking!!!
GARÇON!!!
Bring me a Lambrini!!!
Extra Dry!!!
Not too strong mind.
I'm driving
27/02/2012
26/02/2012
I Can See Clearly Now
Sorry Johnny, despite the rain having gone. You will not be able to see all obstacles in your way.
They will have been removed.
So Johnny, it is not, I repeat not, gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.
Are the bad feelings coming back Johnny? Are they? Are the bad feelings coming back?
Remember Johnny...
...life is shit.
There will always be dark clouds, blinding you.
Always.
Remember that Johnny.
Always.
25/02/2012
24/02/2012
When I die!!!
I want Brain and Gamble to adminster to my mortal remains.
I don't care if they are any good.
I just like their name.
Appropriate for the task in hand.
"Who arranged your funeral?" People would ask.
"Brain and Gamble." I would nonchalantly reply.
I would receive many envious looks.
I wish I was dead they would say...
...so Brain and Gamble can dispose of my mortal remains as well.
Cremation Covetousness
Burial Backbiting.
23/02/2012
22/02/2012
21/02/2012
20/02/2012
19/02/2012
18/02/2012
Mass Diarrhea
What?
What do we have to take back?
Banks or Government?
...or...
IT!!!
Is that why there are so many portaloos?
Because of IT!!!
17/02/2012
Sensationalism
Typical Croydon Advertiser...
...Yellow Journalism at its worse.
I wonder if there is any sex involved.
The kinkier the better!!!
Incinerator Incest!!!
16/02/2012
Think Bike
Raleigh Chopper circa 1972
Claude Butler frames
Shimano gears
SRAM Front derailleurs
Brompton Class Folding Bike
Schwalbe tyres
Claude Butler frames
Shimano gears
SRAM Front derailleurs
Brompton Class Folding Bike
Schwalbe tyres
15/02/2012
14/02/2012
ETC. ETC.
ETC. seems to be very popular in Camden.
It must be trendy, then.
They even home deliver.
I wonder if it will make me popular.
13/02/2012
12/02/2012
11/02/2012
10/02/2012
Posterity
And one day...
...it hits you...
...your insignificance...
...and you start...
...to think...
...about leaving your mark...
...to allay a hidden, primal fear...
...that you will be forgotten...
...you want to be remembered...
...you want to leave a message to the future...
...that proclaims...
...I LIVED...
...I LOVED...
...I EXISTED...
...for one brief moment I existed...
...Hear me...
Hear me, future people...
...I am like you...
...do not forget me...
...and then in front of you...
...you see your opportunity...
...a table on a train...
...a Class 377 Electrostar train table if you want to be pendantic about it...
...and carefully...
...laboriously...
...you carve your message of humanness to the citizens of future.
...it hits you...
...your insignificance...
...and you start...
...to think...
...about leaving your mark...
...to allay a hidden, primal fear...
...that you will be forgotten...
...you want to be remembered...
...you want to leave a message to the future...
...that proclaims...
...I LIVED...
...I LOVED...
...I EXISTED...
...for one brief moment I existed...
...Hear me...
Hear me, future people...
...I am like you...
...do not forget me...
...and then in front of you...
...you see your opportunity...
...a table on a train...
...a Class 377 Electrostar train table if you want to be pendantic about it...
...and carefully...
...laboriously...
...you carve your message of humanness to the citizens of future.
09/02/2012
True Patriots
Not even True Patriots can gain access to the Royal Victoria Patriotic Building
Fuck off True Patriots!!!
You are just bigots hiding behind a flag.
That is why the Royal Victoria Patriotic Building will not let you in.
Royal Victoria Patriotic Building we salute you.
Fuck off Royal Victoria Patriotic Building!!!
You are just a bigot hiding behind a flag.
A bloody big flag though.
Does my bum look big in this?
08/02/2012
07/02/2012
Essential Pizza
I would never leave home without a pizza.
Especially an essential one.
Saved my life once in Rangoon,don'cha know.
06/02/2012
Tofurky
I bet they sell this in Scrumpchino's.
Scrumpchino's Tofurky.
But will it solve world hunger?
05/02/2012
Scrumpchino's
I would be embarrassed to eat here.
Credibility would take a nose dive.
Where did you eat last night?
Scrumptious Scrumpchino's
...Open on Sundays though.
STUFF COOL!!!
UP YOURS HIP AND TRENDY!!!
GARÇON!!!
GIVE ME LASAGNA AND CHIPS!!!
...AND DON'T FORGET THE LAMBRINI!!!
Please.
04/02/2012
Destitution
It was when she lost her job, that the downward spiral began...
...One day a gleaming, chromed, supermarket public servant, gliding your newly purchased groceries to the boot of your car with typical shopping trolley efficiency...
...and then....
...DISASTER STRUCK...
...the wonky wheel...
...that damned wonky wheel...
...if it hadn't been for that damned wonky wheel...
...They gave her a carriage clock...
...but they couldn't give her, her pride back...
...Now destitute, roaming the streets scavenging other people's cast offs...
...like some steel framed bag lady...
...until today...
...she couldn't go on anymore...
...she just gave up.
Poor, poor shopping trolley.
I hope she goes to shopping trolley heaven.
I wonder if shopping trolley heaven is like a giant supermarket car park.
03/02/2012
02/02/2012
01/02/2012
Information
Handy Tip: Take the wrapping off first, it improves the flavour no end.
And don't forget to pick it up.
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