Shit Bollard

 As Bollards go

You are shit

Not only are you not much of a physical barrier

You don't even look like a bollard

I bet you're a shit pencil as well

Shit Pokemon

Yes, all very good

But what is it's attacks and abilities

And Health Points

Don't forget Health Points

 

Strong Language

 As strong language goes

I don't think G.Wiz!!! is that offensive

I bet Alice wasn't offended

Criticism

 As a commentary

On the state of Industrial Design

In the UK

Don't you think that's a bit harsh?

Pie in the Sky!!!

 With the current cost of living crisis?

Fat Chance!!!

Natural

 Does everything have to be artificial?

I prefer the real thing

STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!