Subliminal Messages

Wise words

Wise words indeed Mr Oyato. Experience will indeed make a diference.






 Even before 1984.

Looking on the Bright Side of Life

Sometimes things get you down. Sometimes you think things could go better and life has taken a dislike to you, everything is bleak and as tunnels go there is no light to be seen, and then...

 ...And then you take a reality check and realise on a planet with 7 billion people you are one of the lucky few and so many people are in a much worse position than you. Things could be so much worse...


  

 

...you could work for Sainsburys for instance.

Poetry Criticism

I think the central precept of the poem is focussed on man's struggle against the elements. How by continually striving to improve one's lot in life through dedicated study of the classics, and by making wise moral choices, you will be able to escape the fiery grip of the Christian Hell.






The way he pairs learn with burn, evokes a strident narrative redolent of a Mallory's Le Morte d'Arthur.






I for one will endeavour to learn and not be consumed by the fires of ignorance.






I hope this isn't a flash in the pan.





I'm a big fan.

Crisis Listening

Is there any other kind?

Tough

It's your dog, so take it like a man.





or women.

Food Education

I didn't know the heady world of academia would be so high in saturated fats.

Usual Suspects

The one with the eye patch will rip your throat out as soon as look at you.

Carpet Madness

Turn your back and it will cut you up with some pinking shears.

Dreams Construction

Somehow I thought the creation of dreams would be so much more mystical than a man in a van.






Make me a nice one, please.

Neptune's Trident

Poo Fairies

I have this empty space inside me as if some long cherished belief has been ripped from me. Like when my Mother told me the Tooth Fairy didn't exist.

Mind you I am not scared to open my mouth anymore.


She told me the little bastards would steal them whenever my mouth was open.


My first words were Mmmmfffff!!!


I am bereft.

Historic Toilet

It's listed you know.

Sage Advice

Sage advice indeed.

Psycho Ponies

Kills Who?






US or them?






Two Legs Good, Four Legs Bad. Especially colic, crazed, gun totin' ponies that will blow your motherfuckin' ass off for an apple.






Bite back!






Don't let the My Little Pony act fool you. They hate you!!!! They all hate you!!!







Biped Motherfucker

The Shape of Things to Come...

...climate controlled Fruit machines.

Police State

Jacking cars and setting them alight is though.






Fascist, police state.






Sorry!






Middle class fascist, police state.

A Second Chance

What else was he meant to do? He did the interview circuit for a couple of years, and the autobiography didn't do too bad, but eventually it all dried up. It soon got even his agent wouldn't return his calls.

Needs must.



Buy him a drink and he'll tell you a story.


The one about "When Michael left".


"He called me an incontinent monkey!!!"


 

The Shape of Things to Come...

H2O becomes sentient and develops a complex code of behaviour, culminating in it developing it's own system of morality similar and yet significantly different to our own.
 
I wonder if it's Fairtrade as well?

Modern Mysteries

I wonder how they got it up the stairs.

The Day After the Night Before

Good night out then!!!

Stratified Living

Is this a byproduct of our modern times? A time when our lives become so specialised each stage needs to be identified and given a name. Each one with its own mores and customs.

How are they categorised? The eating, puking and shitting stage, the just about sentient bit, the all too short but sweet bit, the interminable it's nearly over section and finally the senior living? Or is it more stratified than that?

What rites of passage do we need to follow to progress seamlessly through each layer? Each strata a minefield of complex etiquette, that needs to be learned, codified, and put into practise.

Or is it more sinister than that, is the Sunrise Senior Living Next Left an old man in a perspex box, available for our scrutiny and ridicule? We are allowed to observe him as he lives from moment to moment, each banal second ticking away.

 It could just be a Home for the Elderly you know.

Mr Oyato

Barber, specialist cinéaste and dresser of hair. A multi-faceted talent lying dormant in the depths of Catford. With Mr. Oyato in charge we would be in a much better place...






...or maybe not...






...just better coiffured.

The Rods of Asclepius

Thermonuclear protection

I'd rather wear a hat.

Keep Away From Fire

Especially when you are in them.

Chinese Fairy Tale

Sounds like the title of a children's story...






...except with added monosodium glutamate.

Conspiracy

Bike and Man

Bike

Bike! What have you done with Man?

No stop it please.

No seriously, enough is enough. Stop it, stop it now. I can't take anymore.

Oh! God! Not another one.

Oh! Lor! It's like buses, you wait and wait and then two come along at once.