First they ripped off his foot...
Then they gave him one up the arse.
Mind you he was voiced by Mel Gibson.
Wouldn't you?
31/10/2012
Ignominy
First they ripped off his foot...
Then they gave him one up the arse.
Mind you he was voiced by Mel Gibson.
Wouldn't you?
30/10/2012
29/10/2012
Unauthorised Entry
So that's The Look Back in Anger flashmob with dogs on unicycles out of the question then?
28/10/2012
27/10/2012
25/10/2012
24/10/2012
Ginger Group
Say it loud!!!
Say it proud!!!
We're all Ginger
We're the Ginger Group
and we're fully air conditioned.
So Fuck You!!!
You Ginger Hating, air-conditionless, Mother Fuckers!!!
23/10/2012
Supporting the Community
Network Rail are so thoughtful.
Creating these cycle crime hotspots.
Then advertising them.
22/10/2012
Traffic Marshall
I really would like to be Door Supervisor Level 2...
Or even a Traffic Marshal course...
Is something I would be more than happy to attain.
The trouble is...
I am not sure I want to look like a male stripper.
Does my bum look big in this.
21/10/2012
Lost
Lost
A photograph of a lady's watch...
Was dropped somewhere between...
The Mansion House and Cannon Street...
On Wednesday 19th September...
At around 10.30pm
When I was pissed as arseholes.
Please ring this number at a time that suits me.
There will be no reward...
Just the satisfaction of having done a good deed...
And probably the release of some good endorphins.
There is no need to thank me.
I do it for the common good.
20/10/2012
MetroPest
How urban.
How louche.
How decadent.
It reminds me of that old Aesop's fable.
The Town Pest and the Country Pest.
19/10/2012
New Lid
What's wrong with the old one.
A lick of paint and it would be good as new.
Farrow & Ball do a lovely range of heritage colours.
Elephant's breath would be nice.
If you don't believe me look it up.
18/10/2012
End of Camera
This is a very pessimistic statement.
A doom laden prophecy.
I think cameras have a long history ahead of them.
Especially the digital ones.
Remember they said television would kill cinema.
They were wrong.
So my nay-saying friend...
You are wrong!!!
Cameras have a long way to go yet.
Don't you hate negative people.
17/10/2012
Street Archaeology
Obviously the remains of a giant prehistoric slug.
Out hunting.
Out hunting who I wonder?
Old people, I bet.
Mind you no wonder prehistoric slugs are extinct.
Old people are so much faster these days.
With their souped up mobility vehicles
Pavement hogs.
16/10/2012
Oval Eyes Optician
This would be borderline racist.
Except they are based in the Oval.
Unless of course...
They ARE borderline racist.
15/10/2012
We Accept All Cards
Yeah!!!
Right!!!
They don't accept Clinton Cards.
And they definitely don't accept Card Factory.
14/10/2012
So Long and Thanks for All the Fish
It was a shame they went bust.
It was a good bookshop in its day.
Mind you,
They were never going to succeed.
With only accepting payment in fish and everything.
The Waterstone's opening up the road didn't help either.
Amazon anyone?
13/10/2012
Come Early to Avoid Rush
I did.
I came early to avoid the rush.
They were shut.
Mind you it was 5 in the morning.
I like an early lunch.
12/10/2012
11/10/2012
10/10/2012
09/10/2012
08/10/2012
07/10/2012
Dilemma
What if...
What if you wanted a crow bar and a ladder at the same time?
You'd be fucked wouldn't you.
06/10/2012
Become a Catholic
On the last lesson they show you how to be a martyr.
There's something about being tied to a stake and set a light that is so dramatic.
So final.
05/10/2012
04/10/2012
03/10/2012
02/10/2012
01/10/2012
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