27/12/2018

Fragile Egos



Typical fragile egos.






Who is top dog






Who is more important






No 1 might be first, but number 2 has higher billing.







It's like Towering Inferno all over again.






22/12/2018

Exact



He's right you know.






It does indeed take 30 seconds.






I've timed him.






Several times.






Tee!!! Hee!!!



19/12/2018

Professional


Maybe you wouldn't have to apologise for any inconvenience






If you stopped treating it as a hobby



17/12/2018

Pretentious Estates?


Do they clean up the mess before you make it?



16/12/2018

Ambiguous

Johhhies?






Johhnies?






Johnnies?






Johnhies?






Jonnnies?






Jonhhies?






Jonhnies?






Jonnhies?









11/12/2018

Notice

It gives me goose bumps just looking at it.










10/12/2018

Pandemic

A pathetic attempt at trendy Christmas decorations?







Or building plague






Look at those pus filled boils



07/12/2018

Shoe Storage



Cheap






Convenient






And best of all






Flat pack



06/12/2018

Anti

They wouldn't let me in






Even though I said I was very much for Directors






And I didn't know what we do without them.








Now






I am very much Anti-Director



05/12/2018

FASCIST BASTARD!!!

Don't tell me what to do!!!






I will do what I want!!!






When I want!!!






You fascist bastard!!!













If I want to say hello...push...then buzz






I WILL!!!






AND THERE IS NOT ONE GODDAM THING 






YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!!!








Except not answer the door of course.






Please let me in






I'm lonely




02/12/2018

Small Worlds

Probably your visible universe






Would be no more than 2 or 3 square feet






And like a M.C. Escher print







Around you...






An infinity of mirror images of yourself







You would try and speak






But only a meaningless noise would come out






And in reply...






A cacophony of your eternal selves would call back






A soulless helpless whimper into the void






Time would be compressed






A few weeks







would feel like an eternity







And then...






It's all over






THE VOID!!!






And in some savage, arcane ritual






You are anointed with a red liquid






Cremated in a fiery furnace






And placed in a plastic casket.






To satiate the hunger of an alien species.








Yes.






The world of a chicken has both small horizons






And a gruesome end.






Can I have mine extra hot?



01/12/2018

Dreams vs Reality

'Billy'






'Yes, Daddy?'






'Hortense'






'Yes, Daddy?'






'Shall we go to the Hair Castle?'






In unison...






'Yes, Please Daddy!!!'






'We would love to go to the Hair Castle'






'We've never been to the Hair Castle'






'Is it...'






'Is it...'







'Is it a place of magic?'






'And fun for little children?'






'Is it a place?'






'Of sweets and Unicorns?'






'Of wizards and dragons'






'A place where dreams are made?'