Bald Statement!!!

I Shit






You Shop






But I don't brag about it.

CAUTION!!!

CAUTION!!!






WIDE ANGLED BABY!!!

Depravation!!!

It's Walworth






You know






And until






The inevitable gentrification






Of The Elephant and Castle

They can only





afford half a cigarette.






To not smoke in these premises.

Arcane

Crane Safety

I keep mine locked up at night.






With  a warm blanket.

2015 2/2

2015 1/2

Advert for a plumbing merchant?

Thirty Second Theater!!!

Thirty Second Theater!!!

Wave Particle Duality

Thomas Young (1773 - 1829)

Smashing bloke






Amongst other people






Helped to establish





That light could be a WAVE!!!

As well as a particle

In his paper 

'Experiments and Calculations Relative to Physical Optics' 

He managed to demonstrate 

That 

The centuries old view 

Propounded 

Propounded Is 

Such a lovely word

Pretentious

But lovely

By amongst others 

The Inestimable

tHE INDUCiTABlous






Isaac Newton 

Who suggested






That light was a particle. 

SO DID ARISTOTLE!!!







Mr. Young's experiment not only 

Proved that light could also be a wave

But sowed the seeds that led to 

Quantum Physics.

The experiment 

Also called 

The Young's double-slit interferometer 

Was deceptively simple.

It involved 

Shining a light 

At a double slit. 

Deceptive?

Simple?

I think not!!!

For a start

The slits 

Didn't form until 1976!!!

So he had to wait 

173 years 

To perform the experiment

Especially

As by this time

He was dead

And even more problematic

-ally






They were

PUNKS!!!

So quite hard to organise

And boss about

As they were into anarchy 

And Anti-Establishment

-arisim






And would have low standards of personal hygiene

As well.

Mind you he only had to deal with two of them.

What with






Line up






Changes







And everything






Can only be a good thing.






On the other hand

Just imagine how much easier

It would have been 

If it had been two ex-contestants

Of the X-Factor say?

Or






T.O.W.E.L.






The Only Way is Existential






Cunts!!!






Sorry






That's T.O.W.E.C.






They would be






Much more amenable

Ask a runner up of T.O.W.E.C 

Contest

To take part in the double-slit interferometer 

EXPERIMENT!!!

And by the way

Can I shit in your mouth.

"No problem."

They would say

"Just say when."

Would be their snappy,

But pathetic rejoinder.

PUNKS!!!

On the other hand.

That must have been quite hard to arrange.

Especially with the gap 

Of 173 years to contend with.

Must have been quite hard.

If he had even got his time travel calculations

Wrong by 6 years

I.E.

1982

Say.

When they split up 

He would have to wait 

Another 23 years

For them to reform.

Well I can tell you.

The logistics of carrying out

THE DOUBLE-SLIT INTERFEROMETER EXPERIMENT!!!

Doesn't even bear thinking about.

Mind you.

Wham!!!

George Michael

And

Andrew Ridgley

Would have been available.

In 1982.

And as it stands

The 

Thomas Young Guns (Go For It!) Interference 

Experiment!!!

Has a nice shaggy dog story ring to it.

Good Night!!! And God Bless!!!

Cars I have Known

The Aston Martin Vanquish Volante






The Jaguar F-Type






The Bentley Continental






The Land Rover Discovery Sport






The Bongo Friendee

Thirty Second Theater!!!

#Scary Things!!!

Surprises

I do like surprise presents.






I wonder what it is?

I wonder if its Hitler?

Vetinarians with a Death Wish!!!

MORE SMUT!!!

Wisteria I understand






A sexy Scots Pine has it's attractions






And squirrels






Why not?






But statues?

SMUT!!!

You should be ashamed of yourself!!!

Bin of the Month - February 2015

Seen it All!!!

I like to think






I have led a well rounded life.






That I have experienced






Much of what life has to offer






And not much shocks me






Anymore






So it is often






With disdain






I view the young drinkers






Practice






Of taking






Their drinking vessel







From an establishment






Built for such a purpose






Drinking that is






And leaving it on







Or near






A piece of BT property






With a little bit of drink left in it.






BUT






IMAGINE






MY SHOCK






WHEN I SAW THIS!!!

IT SHOOK ME






TO MY MORAL CORE






THIS TAKES THE BISCUIT






OR CAKE






TO BE MORE PRECISE






Do these young people know no shame?

Posh BDSM 2/2

A more tailored fit perhaps?






And of course






A little pocket

For that little Doggy Dildo

Posh BDSM 1/2

Barbour







The people who make hunting jackets






For hunters







And farmers







And stockbrokers






Also make a range of






Coats






For your four legged friend






And it also appears






They make






Other accroutrements






For the more discerning






Customer

Canine BDSM anyone?

Typopolis

Business Advice

Anthropomorphise your product by all means.






Turn your sandwiches into whatever you like.






A cute cartoon character can help your sales.






But Sargeant Sarnie?






Come on.






Are you trying to ostracize some of your customers






On purpose






The military overtones






Especially with the state the world is in today






Would definitely exclude some of the public.






And ultimately affect your profits.






Greenham Common woman and Jihadists






Being two groups that spring to mind.

STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!

You winked at me!!!






You winked at me GrillMouth!!!






DIDN'T YOU !!!






I liked it.






Do it again.

Not Allowed!!!

It's not because






You would be a danger to the public






Or that you may damage Borough of Hounslow property






It's just that







We think your cunts






And just because we can.

USP

Beers shit






But they're fast






For a pound extra






They'll even drink it for you.

Sex!!!

Did you just wink at me?






Saucy!!!

Let It Go!

I can't

C'est Ci Art?