Right Time

Problems with your genitalia?






Have you difficulty in breathing?






Have you lost your sense of smell?






Has your eyesight also deteriorated?






Has your skin gone a yellow hue?

THEN I WOULD GO TO FUCKING A&E!!!






You may be suffering from shit 3D Character Animation

Wigist Bastards!!!

Sorry to be a pedant.






But






All hair is organic






Being a filamentous biomaterial






And everything.






Unless of course





.
You refuse to deal with people






Whose hair is not their own.






I refer to of course






Wigs!!!






You Maliaphobic!!!






Look it up.

Charlie Says...

"MreoowrrrowwwrMeorrwrrOwwwrMeooowwrrrOwmmmeowwwwmeeowrRRRR!!!"







Charlie Says...






Please remember the Green Cross Code.






Or you will get run over.






Like I fucking did!!!

Have you seen Charlie?






No!!!






And nor will you ever again.

RIP Charlie.






Don't worry I lied






He's not dead






He's In Central Information Office Heaven.

Entrepreneur Basic

Ripping Yarns

It is important






When writing prose






Especially when writing






A short story






That not only do you have a good opening gambit,






One that grabs the reader






But that at the end






Of your tale






Your ending






Must maintain impetus






And impact






And not trail off.






Thus leaving the reader






Despondent.






In other words






Be succinct






And do not lead them






Down blind alleys.

DAMN IT MAN!!!






I NEED TO KNOW!!!






WHAT HAPPENS NEXT???






I love a cliff hanger me.

Sexist Bastards!!!

SEXIST BASTARDS!!!






And they lied!!!






She had a face like a slapped arse!!!






A PACK OF CONDOMS PLEASE, MY GOOD LADY!!!






Extra Small






Otherwise they slip off






Not that I ever get to use them.






Lack of Totty you see.

IC

I don't know why.






I just want to buy a tin of spray paint.






White would be nice.






And write the letters






IC






I don't know why.

It amuses me!!!

Danger Sans-Serif

Beckenham Mowers

To the Garden Centre Robin!!!

Organised Filial Terror

Exclusive

This place is so exclusive.






I want to be one of the select few.






I MUST JOIN!!!

Swanky!!!

Cyclops

STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!

You are back!!!






After all this time!!!






You are back!!!






Insectoid, Icecream Monster!!!

Twenty One Second Theater

STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!

Getting in Contact

Racist Bastards!!!

Soft Mud!!!

Hard Mud!!!






Hard Muds a Wuss!!!






Now Soft Mud






You've got to be careful round Soft Mud!!!






It's edgy.






It's dangerous.






Yes






I would be very careful around Soft Mud

Profound!!!

Not only is it profound






It's precise.

Bin of the Month - April 2014

Caution Floop!!!

And a Wet Floop at that.

Caution Stairs!!!

Fuck!!!






No!!!






NO!!!






Look!!!






Look!!!






Watch Out!!!






Beware!!!






Carpet!!!






The only thing worse






Than Carpet






Carpeted stairs.






LETHAL!!!

Marvellous Unisex

If your a hermaphrodite






Forget it.

Escape!!!

You know what rubbish is like.






You put it in the bin.






Turn your back for a second.






Whoosh!!!






It has gone.

FBI

They Walk Among Us!!!

A Finger in Every Pie!!!

International Standards Organisation






For Sushi!!!

Mixed Messages

Thirsty Camel

My mouth is as dry as a bone.






I am gagging for a drink






Why!!!






I am a big, old Thirsty Camel.

Thank my luck stars!!!

And a Bottle O Shop too!!!

Edwin the Budgie

Entrance Old Style