A good night out then?
31/12/2011
30/12/2011
29/12/2011
Caution
Beyond this is another dimension - a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.
28/12/2011
I See Robots
Do you see a little one eyed robot?
I see a little one eyed robot.
Hiding.
Hiding fast.
Hiding from the Cyclops Tree.
But he found him!!! The Cyclops Tree found him!!!
And smashed his home to bits.
Poor little one eyed vehicular traffic direction robot.
Luckily he hasn't found the others.
They are safe...
...for now
27/12/2011
26/12/2011
Revenge of the Cyclops Tree
The Cyclops tree did this.
It was his revenge.
You can tell.
111 is the number of the tree!!!
25/12/2011
24/12/2011
The Nativity is a lie
Historical Inaccuracies are rampant!!!!
The Brecknock Hill Cheviot sheep strain were not bred until the latter part of the nineteenth century, so it would be highly unlikely they would have been in the Holy Land two thousand years ago.
Don't you hate it when people don't research things properly.
This is a secular nation...
...and sheep lovin'
23/12/2011
Cyclops
I see two faces, one of them does not come from an aerosol.
Look at the top, do you see its big one eye.
He is not smiling, he is not happy.
Be afraid, be very afraid.
Cyclops tree man has been defiled, someone has sprayed a happy face on him.
He will cause mayhem and mischief until he is avenged.
22/12/2011
Everything
I bought the sky.
A fantastic bargain, with free local delivery.
It would have been so much more expensive tomorrow.
I wonder what he charges for indoors.
21/12/2011
Favourite
This is what brings me back to this place, time and time again.
It's Open Planny Kitchenness.
The food is terrible though.
20/12/2011
19/12/2011
18/12/2011
Willkommen
IT'S OUR WORLD
There is something about Austria and world domination that is getting a touch repetitive.
The other 1% just like the uniform.
17/12/2011
Get the Million Look
Won't even touch Colombian hair!
God forbid, if you are Argentinian!
Lady Million will give you a bouffant crew cut with a kiss curl.
16/12/2011
S&M Recycling
What depraved depths have these people plumbed?
Gimp Recycling
Perverts
Polite perverts though.
Or maybe that is all part of their sick game?
15/12/2011
Covering All Bases
What about tainted vegetarians?
You know the ones, the ones that stood by some bacon once.
What about Vegans?
Especially the ones that only eat polyester.
14/12/2011
13/12/2011
12/12/2011
11/12/2011
Chenelle
I hope everything works out for the best.
I hope she also learns about lower case as well.
It's so labour saving.
10/12/2011
Behind the scenes
The fabric of reality, it's all a veneer you know.
Underneath it all it's plyboard and chewing gum.
I bet it's lost it's flavour as well.
But my tongue couldn't quite reach to find out.
09/12/2011
08/12/2011
07/12/2011
06/12/2011
The Time of Your Life
Thursdays look really hot.
Isn't a line of people a sequence? What's the difference?
Cowboy hats?
Hope you can keep up hoody boy.
05/12/2011
Police State
 |
 What about Grime artistes? And people of a Dubstep persuasion? What about them? Can't they turn right as well? What about Susan Boyle? Do we also persecute her? Fascist Bastards! Give the gift of Michael Bublé this holiday season. |
03/12/2011
02/12/2011
The Stately Homes of Thornton Heath
One day, I too wish to be a person of quality able to grace such a stately pile.
Oh! To be one of the select few to enter into the inner sanctum of Scratchley Hall. To hob nob with the elite and kow tow with the grandees of Thornton Heath.
I bet they only use the finest of pork luncheon meat in their sandwiches, dainty slivers of processed meat tucked between the lightest, fluffiest Mother's Pride. Moistened with the merest hint of margarine, and not just any margarine mind, it has to be the best...
...Stork.
I bet they also cut the crusts off their sandwiches.
I wonder what they do with the crusts? I hope they don't feed them to the peasants. You know what peasants are like.
Look what happened to Marie Antoinette, She lost her head poor child.
Mind you she did use to shop at Asda.
Served her right, the slag.
01/12/2011
30/11/2011
29/11/2011
28/11/2011
Looking on the Bright Side of Life
Sometimes things get you down. Sometimes you think things could go better and life has taken a dislike to you, everything is bleak and as tunnels go there is no light to be seen, and then...
...And then you take a reality check and realise on a planet with 7 billion people you are one of the lucky few and so many people are in a much worse position than you. Things could be so much worse...
...And then you take a reality check and realise on a planet with 7 billion people you are one of the lucky few and so many people are in a much worse position than you. Things could be so much worse...
...you could work for Sainsburys for instance.
27/11/2011
Poetry Criticism
I think the central precept of the poem is focussed on man's struggle against the elements. How by continually striving to improve one's lot in life through dedicated study of the classics, and by making wise moral choices, you will be able to escape the fiery grip of the Christian Hell.
The way he pairs learn with burn, evokes a strident narrative redolent of a Mallory's Le Morte d'Arthur.
I for one will endeavour to learn and not be consumed by the fires of ignorance.
I hope this isn't a flash in the pan.
I'm a big fan.
26/11/2011
25/11/2011
24/11/2011
23/11/2011
22/11/2011
21/11/2011
Dreams Construction
Somehow I thought the creation of dreams would be so much more mystical than a man in a van.
Make me a nice one, please.
20/11/2011
19/11/2011
Poo Fairies
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 |
I have this empty space inside me as if some long cherished belief has been ripped from me. Like when my Mother told me the Tooth Fairy didn't exist.
Mind you I am not scared to open my mouth anymore.
She told me the little bastards would steal them whenever my mouth was open.
My first words were Mmmmfffff!!!
I am bereft.
18/11/2011
17/11/2011
16/11/2011
Psycho Ponies
Kills Who?
US or them?
Two Legs Good, Four Legs Bad. Especially colic, crazed, gun totin' ponies that will blow your motherfuckin' ass off for an apple.
Bite back!
Don't let the My Little Pony act fool you. They hate you!!!! They all hate you!!!
Biped Motherfucker
15/11/2011
14/11/2011
Police State
Jacking cars and setting them alight is though.
Fascist, police state.
Sorry!
Middle class fascist, police state.
13/11/2011
A Second Chance
What else was he meant to do? He did the interview circuit for a couple of years, and the autobiography didn't do too bad, but eventually it all dried up. It soon got even his agent wouldn't return his calls.
Needs must.
Buy him a drink and he'll tell you a story.
The one about "When Michael left".
"He called me an incontinent monkey!!!"
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