Degrees in Everything

He's doing a Masters in Kebab






There so much more complicated than burgers






All that chopped cabbage to contend with.






And the pickled chillies






They can be a nightmare.






He's even considering a PhD in Fries.






Diploma in Burger!!!






Diploma in Burger!!!






Drop this charade of food related buffoonery






Stop doing stupid, pointless qualifications






That have no meaning






To anyone






Drop this pretence







And get a proper job!!!






Oh!!!






You have?






You sell Fast Food.






Excellent






A noble profession






You should get a qualification in that.

Children's Table Sale

HEARTLESS BASTARDS!!!






Selling the poor child's table






There she is,






Little Gemma






Sitting on her little seat.






'What shall we do today'






She says






This day of magic possibilities






'Shall I do some...






Some finger painting perhaps






Or read a book






About a princess






Or some creative play






With some plasticine






Oh! I do I love plasticine.'






But she can't!!!






She can't do any of these things!!!






BECAUSE SOME HEARTLESS BASTARD!!!






HAS SOLD HER TABLE!!!






Poor little Gemma






Personally I would have sold the seat as well






You get more for a set.

Specialising in Everything

Specialising in Everything!!!






As long as it's hair related.

STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!

Stop Looking At Me!!!






Insectoid, Icecream Monster!!!

Urbanigraphy

Narcolepsy

Narcolepsy






An often misunderstood neurological disorder






That affects many individuals






It should not be treated as a laughing matter






As it can have a profound affect on peoples lives






Their social life can be dramatically affected






Their working life disrupted






Take Kevin






He's a signwriter

Sonny's Kebabs and Chickens

Soft billowy pitta bread






Crisp cabbage and lettuce






Pungent onions






Meat marinaded to perfection





Moist and spicy






And the briny chillies






HOT, HOT HOT!!!






And the chickens






Oh God!!!






The chickens






The art of small scale chicken production






Commercial and hybrid breeds






Equipment and nutrition






Including vitamin and mineral requirements






Healthcare






Cock exchange programmes






Yes






I laughed as well






Threats






like predation and infectious diseases.






Housing!!!






Shut up about the fucking housing!!!






On and on and on and on






He wouldn't shut up






Sonny wouldn't shut up






Shut up Sonny!!!






SHUT UP!!!







I had a pizza instead