31/07/2013
30/07/2013
But!!!
But What???
TELLL ME!!!
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT???
I CAN'T STAND THE SUSPENSE
I HAVE TO KNOW!!!
I hate cliffhangers.
29/07/2013
It's Not As Easy As It Looks!!!
It's not as easy as it looks!!!
Being criminal 24 hours a day.
Even the Krays were nice to their mum
From 3.30pm to 7.30pm every evening
They weren't that criminal when they were asleep either.
You could say Ronnie looked quite cute
In his teddy bear jim jams.
You could say that.
But at the time
It wouldn't have been a good idea
To have said it within ear shot
Or in the same city for that matter.
But solicitors
On the other hand
Are criminal 24 hours a day
Effortlessly
Even when they are asleep
Or having a poo.
How you may ask
Can you be a criminal
Having a poo.
For a solicitor
It's easy.
They do it in the park
And don't pick up after themselves.
Sometimes
They will do it
On children
Or small dogs
A chihuahua, for instance.
See!!!
Even solicitors aren't all bad
28/07/2013
27/07/2013
26/07/2013
Reduced Memory
It's alright
I don't need to remember that much anymore
I've got Alzheimer's disease
And my memory's going to.
25/07/2013
24/07/2013
23/07/2013
Posterity 2
I feel I need more
With great words
And great deeds
Must come
Great Art
I wonder if I should sign it.
With great words
And great deeds
Must come
Great Art
I wonder if I should sign it.
22/07/2013
Posterity 1
Oooh!!!
Look!!!
A virgin piece of wet concrete
What shall I write?
What message can I leave?
For posterity.
Look!!!
A virgin piece of wet concrete
What shall I write?
What message can I leave?
For posterity.
21/07/2013
20/07/2013
Kung Fu Kitchen
They are masters of Shaolin Kung Fu
Their prowess is legendary
People come from far and wide
To sit at their feet and learn
To become one with them
To become masters
Of the Chinese martial arts
It's a pity their food's shit
19/07/2013
The Place to Be!!!
If you want news
And you are a Shree
This is the place to be.
You can fuck off if you are a Shroo though!!!
We don't like Shroos in these parts.
Or Shriiis for that matter!!!
And you are a Shree
This is the place to be.
You can fuck off if you are a Shroo though!!!
We don't like Shroos in these parts.
Or Shriiis for that matter!!!
18/07/2013
17/07/2013
16/07/2013
15/07/2013
14/07/2013
13/07/2013
Common Mistakes
When one develops a love of wine
And wishes to collect the finest samples
Of the vinous art
There are a few common pitfalls
That the Oenophile should be aware of
The most obvious and glaring is
STOW AWAY FROM BOILERS!!!
And wishes to collect the finest samples
Of the vinous art
There are a few common pitfalls
That the Oenophile should be aware of
The most obvious and glaring is
STOW AWAY FROM BOILERS!!!
12/07/2013
11/07/2013
Unbelievable!!!
Unbelievable!!!
A Unicorn in a shop window!!!
Do they think I'm gullible?
I mean
How did they get it inside with no one noticing?
And who cleans up the poo?
Unicorn poo tastes like chocolate.
10/07/2013
Prayer is our Business
Prayer is our business
I buy in bulk
It's cheaper
Remember
The Word is our priority
I wonder how Terry Christian is getting on?
09/07/2013
08/07/2013
07/07/2013
06/07/2013
05/07/2013
04/07/2013
03/07/2013
Annual Checkup
Imagine my surprise
When they told me
They only did cars.
I had already dropped my trousers
And bent over.
I think I may have coughed as well.
Kaff!!!
When they told me
They only did cars.
I had already dropped my trousers
And bent over.
I think I may have coughed as well.
Kaff!!!
02/07/2013
Action for Children
EAT THE FUCKERS!!!
It would solve overpopulation and world hunger in one fell swoop.
I'm expecting the Nobel Peace prize next year.
I can't help it. I'm a
Nice guy.
01/07/2013
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