Abandoned Mattresses 1/3

 

Off-putting

 

I don't know about you?

I would be a bit put off eating in a cafe

Run by Doctor Hunger

He sounds a bit like a doctor in a Nazi concentration camp.

Government cuts

The Government have decided that, due to rapidly escalating costs.

HS2 has been cancelled.

Instead they are going to invest in a new system of highways.

And after all the expenditure has been taken into account.

They will still have change for a bag of monkey nuts.

Cost Saving

Definitely an excellent cost saving tip

Rather than buying new Kitchen doors.

Imagine them.

Etymology

 Houndsditch:- A street in London so named as a ditch that had been dug as a defense for the City had been used for a dumping ground for dead dogs.

Shoeditch:- An area in London, so named as it is used as a dumping ground for high end, hipster trainers.

Or just a typo.

Walk this way!!!

 

Is there any other way?

Death and Dyslexia

 

Innovations for Alcoholics

 

I want one!!!

The Scenic Route

 

Safety Conscious

 

Exactness

 

Last Night a DJ saved my Life

 

Architectural Criticism

 

I don't know they brighten the place up.

I nice picture of Mickey Mouse

Or Garfield even

Would brighten the monotony of minimalism

And you're using cream tones too.

Hype Beast

 A monster that has an acute finger on the pulse of marketing?

Or another razor?

Rewriting History

 

Talk about the American's rewriting history.

How do you get from Henry VIII's dissolution of the monasteries to cute American clothes?

Hooligans

 

Tearaway needs a damn good thrashing!!!

Hanging is too good for them!!!

Public Humiliation

 

Look if someone doesn't want to commute!!!

For whatever reason!!!

Public shaming just isn't going to work!!!

Toying with the Fabric of the Universe!!!

 There you go you think you are having a perfectly normal day

Then you notice

A tiny, infinitesimally small rip in the fabric of the space/time continuum

Then before you fucking know it!!!

It becomes a gaping chasm of fuckeduppery!!!

Bin of the Month - September 2021

 

Happy Halloween

 

Eugenics

 

What about the kids without the ability to do the snappy rejoinder?

I will tell you what we do with the ones without the funny bone!!!

We tell them to fuck right off!!!

That's what we do!!!

Little unfunny bastards!!!

Just the Ticket

 

Achievement

 

Some was obviously pleased with themselves.

No Expense Spared!!!

 As tributes go to the deceased.

I found it quite touching.

Unless of course it's a threat

Pedant's Corner

 

Do you want to tell them or shall I?

Falling on Deaf Ears

University of the Arts London!!!

You've got to listen!!!

You must listen!!!

It's a cri de coeur!!!

A heartfelt call from deep within!!!

These are troubled souls!!! 

Come on UAL!!! 

BRING YOUR CLEANERS IN HOUSE!!!

Misleading

 

They said on the second floor.

Kitchen Utensils?

 

I think it's a dog oven.

Ha! Ha!

 

Backstory

 What I would like to know is...

What did a potter ever do to you?

Whatever it was

It must have been bad, very, very bad.