The Secretary of State for the Home Department

The Secretary of State






One of the four






Great Offices of State






Is responsible for






Amongst other






Very important matters






Immigration,






Citizenship






And Cycling.

Hello 3/3

Hello Frod!!!

Hello 2/3

Hello Hector!!!

Hello 1/3

Hello Terry!!!

Where are they Now!!!

You know how it is.

That initial burst of success.

The films

The fame

The recognition

Pity about the money.

But it all had to end.

It wasn't the ability

You had the moves.

It was the accent.

You just couldn't do American.

After all

How many 

All American Cajun Action Hero parts are there?

Anyway

Mouths to feed.

Sheen Picnic Spot

Unbelievable!!!

I have no proof.






No blurry photograph,






No witness,






No signed affidavit.






But I swear it's true.






I saw it with my own eyes.






I swear I saw a sign,






A sign in a coffee shop.






Advertising






An espresso






But not just an espresso






AN ESPRESSO AND TONIC WATER!!!






And yes.






I am still on the medication.

The Emasculation of Cloth!!!

Tweed






Rough,






Unfinished,






Durable






And






Moisture-resistant.






Associated with






Outdoor pursuits






Such as hunting






And fishing.






A fabric






redolent






of manly pursuits.

I am bereft!!!

Anthropomorphic items of food in the form of a cylindrical length of minced pork or other meat encased in a skin, typically sold raw to be grilled or fried before eating showing pleasure or contentment.

Nopar Condensed

Healthcare Solid

You shall...

You shall learn to use case properly.






And not produce a work






That makes you look like a serial killer.






You shall also learn to fucking spell.






Especially as it already written out for you in the Bible.






Twat!!!

Welcome to Mundania

How pedestrian

Super Powers

I wish I had a super power.






Just not a crap one.






Invincible Drains






Would count as a crap one.

Home Office Stantionary

Home Office Stantionary






Assortment






Drawing pins






Paper clips






And cross headed screws






Just what every Stantionary kit needs.

Stylish!!!

Camouflage inhaler cover.






Perfect for military personnel.






And asthmatic twats.

The Race of Your Life!!!

The race of your life!!!






No experience required.






After all...






Dying doesn't require any specialist skills.

Good to Know!!!

Thirty Second Theater!!!

Bin of the Month - July 2014

A Message for Posterity

Until today






I did not know






What the plural form of






Moo






is.

Now I know.

I am now






trying to work out






Why I needed to find out.

A Message for Posterity

Moving Target

I tried.






But he kept running away.

Sex Sells

This Item has been Fly Tipped

That's what I like.






What.






and When.






I like order in my life.

All That Glitters

Glitter and Twisted

Niche Markets

Damn!!!

I need some fireworks 

For Little Jimmy's 12th Birthday party.

He also wants a false nose

And a fake beard.

And a Fez.

And I've lost my signet ring

And my Stetson has got a hole in it.

Thank God for Weststar.

It's all cyclical you know!!!

Butt you can always start another one.

Rebranding

Pre-fall?






Wouldn't that be Summer?

NO PARKING!!!

NO PARKING!!!






Violators will be towed away!!!






And so will your parked car.






Disgusting!!!






Used condoms everywhere.






Cost me a fortune.






Pity you can only use them once.