Good Feelings!!!

Unwanted Presents

Quite why






Anyone would think






I would want






The Princess Diana






And Dodi






Diamante






Cutlery set






With






Matching






Napkin rings.

Now for the forks and spoons.

And matching napkin rings.

Exodus: Gods and Kings

Exodus: Gods and Kings

Ridley Scott

Directing

Starring Christian Bale,

Signourey Weaver

And Ben Kingsley

Whose name in the film is 

'Nun'

Which in 

Hebrew or Aramaic

Or Something

Means fish.

Who

As it happens

Was the lead singer

With Marillion

Who were the most successful band

To emerge from the 1980s 

Neo-progressive rock scene. (Wikipedia)

Which I think is pretty controversial.

Mixing the Bible

And Prog Rock.

Neo-Prog Rock at that.

Think what might have happened

If they had gone 

For the real thing.

Genesis

Yes

And God Forbid!!!

JETHRO TULL!!!

Anyway,

Getting back to my point, 

It cost $140m (£89m) BBC

I could have saved them some money.

Hey Moses!!!






Forget that Manna!!!






Try some of that






Crazy, Continental Food!!!






Weetabix is £2.00 a pack you know!!!






Which is the nearest your going to get Manna in Haringey.

Swinging Both Ways!!!

No Shit Sherlock!!!

Hazardous Walls

Wall

Definition

Noun: a thing regarded as a protective or restrictive barrier.

Verb: enclose (an area) within walls, especially for protection or privacy

Merry Xmas

I totally sympathise young child

In 2014

If someone gave me a cheap Nokia handset for Xmas

I would be really pissed off.

Remember...

Being a cunt is for life not just Christmas.

Forty One Second Theater

Table Bookings Available!!!

You have to bring your own chairs though.






Laughs like a drain






Falls off seat






Leaves stage to deafening silence.






Blames Cracker.

Christmas Murder

Festive Slaughter Toys

With Knob On!!!

Uck U Too!!!

#Scary Things!!!

SCARY!!!






What happened to the other one!!!






Or maybe it was a one legged child.

Disgusting!!!

Disgusting!!!






It's about time they cleaned that van.






AND






They missed the apostrophe

Festive Bus Stop

Good Neighbour

#Scary Things!!!

Gates That Interest Me 2/2

Gates That Interest Me 1/2

THIS WEEK!!!

THIS WEEK!!!






A BLACK HOLE!!!






Mind you it was in Croydon.

Bin of the Month - December 2014 vs STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!

As it's nearly Christmas.






Two for the price of one.

Oscalting Fans

I am indeed a fan






Of Oscalting Fans

#Scary Things!!!

Urban Bestiary 2/2

Heiroglyphic Dog!!!

Urban Bestiary 1/2

Micro Pig!!!

Happily We Are...

I don't care.






Your happiness is of no concern of mine.






Open!!!






Closed!!!






My life is still an abyss.

Challenges!!!

I like a challenge






Don't you?

Go to Work in an Egg

Pride in One's Appearance

Thirty Second Theater!!!

Covering All Bases

Most Items £1 and £1+






That's everything covered then.






Except for zero






And minus numbers.

Odd Command

OK!!!

Scrooby!!! Scrooby!!! Doo!!!

I didn't see the Mystery Machine.






Mind you.






I was in Catford.

Bus Assassination!!!

#Scary Things!!!

Dead Babies on Rocking Horses!!!

Prophecy of Doom!!!

"God Willing the meetings announced below will take place in this hall"






What do they know that we don't?






Do they mean?






That event that is prophesied in the Bible!!!






When the horseman come!!!






And Angels come to pass judgement!!!






Or have they just got dry rot in the ceiling joists.

Thirty Second Theater!!!

STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!

Everything's £9.90!!!

Everything's £9.90!!!






As long as it's hair






I love a bargain me.






I remember the great hair shortage of '93






It was a very choppy time.






We were all on a razor's edge.






It could all have gone off with a bang at any moment.






I'll shut up then shall I?






That's what I don't like about you lot.






You never get the layers.

Thirty Second Theater!!!

Adult Cereal

Porn Breakfasts!!!






Cheerios with marshmallow penises?






Anal Porridge?






Muesli Masturbation?






The mind boggles.

On the Zionization of South East London

Sex!!!

Table Dancing Secrets

Table Dancing Secrets






Don't fall off.






It hurts.

#Scary Things!!!

Please Mind the Slope

Is So Inclined.

Abstract Nouns!!!

'Hello!!! Is that the City of Westminster Parking Department'






'Why! Yes it is!'






'How can I help?'






'I would like to report'






'An unclear suspension'






'Being an abstract noun and everything'






'Nor can you use a suspension'






'Being an abstract noun and everything'






'Why! Thank you Miss!'






'For pointing this out to me'






'I will report this aberration immediately to my superiors'






'You will probably receive a medal for this'






'Or at the very least '






'A discount voucher for the Council car park'






'Unfortunately you will not be able to use it'






'Because'






'Quite Frankly'






'Your a Cunt!!!'






'We don't allow Cunts!!! in the car park'






'Except for the Mayor that is.'

Exotic Foods

I don't like exotic foods






Especially






Smacked Cucumber in Garlic Sauce






I prefer it Spanked.






Snarff!!! Snarff!!!

Heavenly Dish

Heavenly Dish






Food With Love...






As long as it's not white, sticky love.

So That's A No Then!!!

Bin of the Month - November 2014

History Passing

62 Years,






62 years of history






Poof!!!






Gone just like that.






Apparently Status Quo






Bought stuff from here






And Queen






Decided on their name






While in the shop.






Brian May






Remembers coming here as a child.






And allegedly






Phil Collins






Bought his first drum kit here.






A shame.






Pity I couldn't stand any of them.

Jazz Dentist

Go on show us your moves.






Show us your jazz hands!!!






Just not when your doing a root canal.

Mystery Soup

We Can Help!!!

They'll sell your kid for you.