Disappointed!!!

I must say I'm a bit disappointed.






I thought the entrance to Inferno






Would be much more impressive.






A much grander affair.






You know,






Sheets of infernal flames,






Gates built of crushed souls and skulls.






Guarded by demons






And Cerebus.






It's just not the same without Cerebus.






I couldn't get in either






Reception was closed.






I know it was a weekend






But you sort of expect the Inferno to be open 24/7.






I went to Paradise instead.






I didn't know it had become a gay bar.

Outrageous!!!

YOUR PEDESTRIANS!!!






YOUR FUCKING PEDESTRIANS!!!






I THINK YOU WILL FIND THAT PEDESTRIANS ARE FREE!!!






JOIN ME NOW!!!






FREE THE PEDESTRIANS!!!






FREE THE PEDESTRIANS NOW!!!






But do stay within the marked area






After all






You don't want to mix with the riff raff






Especially those pedestrians






Some of them are foreign you know.

Old Fashioned!!!

Couldn't find the door






I only learnt Imperial measurements






How many metres are there in a right?

Japanese Straightening!!!

Japanese Straightening I get!!!






It's where the uninformed!!!






Stupid!!!






Religious zealots!!!






And bigots!!!






Try and convince!!!






Japanese ladies and gentlemen!!!






That homosexuality is a phase they are going through!!!






And a good shag would sort them out!!!






While they get a light trim!!!






But Digital Perm???






I have no idea what that is!!!






It's missing an exclamation mark for a start!!!






Fucking wierdos!!!

More Yoga!!!

Hula Hooping Yoga!!!






Please be real!!!

Sporting for the Gullible

Boxing
noun

1. 1.

   the sport or practice of fighting with the fists, especially with padded gloves in a roped square ring according to prescribed rules (the Queensberry Rules).

Yoga

noun

1. 1.

   a Hindu spiritual and ascetic discipline, a part of which, including breath control, simple meditation, and the adoption of specific bodily postures, is widely practised for health and relaxation.

Source, Google Search, 26th December 2013

Boxing Yoga

noun

1. 1.

   An expensive way of prancing around like a cunt because some shyster has thought of a new way of extracting money from the gullible.

Source: Me, 26th December 2013

Merry Christmas from Newbould Guardians!!!

Festive Greetings from Newbould Guardians!!!






Remember at this time of good cheer






Illegal entry will always result in a criminal prosecution.






ESPECIALLY YOU SANTA!!!






We know your game

Charlton Sans

Simple Coarse Fishing

Cunting for Carp






Simply

Trendy Tots

Trendy Tots






Minamilism is so now for the under fives.

Puppies on a Roll

YOU BASTARDS!!!






THERE'S A PLACE FOR YOU!!!






YOU BASTARDS!!!






Can I come?

#Scary Things!!!

The Eye Centre

Actually






I think it's slightly to the left.

Make My Day!!!

Dirty Harry for the Under Fives!!!






Go ahead Punk, Make My Day






Don't worry






The .44 Magnum






Only fires rubber bullets.






Bang! Bang! Your Dead!!!






Motherfuffa!!!






Well you don't want to encourage them to swear.

Istanbul

Istanbul






Under New Management






Thank God for that!!!






It's been mismanaged for centuries






Ever since Suleiman the Magnificent died.

Helium Balloons!!!

Helium Balloons!!!






Makes you see sentient frogs!!!

Crap Dice!!!

Sainsburys

This is why I shop at Sainsburys






The quality of their produce






And their ridiculous money off deals

Car Seat Specialist

They can be mainly found in the interior of a car






Some of them are brown






Some are grey




Some are othe colours






To be used in conjunction with seat belts






Not to be confused with other types of seats






Especially ones with wheels on.

Bin of the Month - December 2013

Cooler Aid

Cooleraid






Water with Integrity.






As far as I know it has never gone seal clubbing






Or oppressed minorities






Or declared war for profit






Or invested in funds with shares in tobacco, alcohol and arms firms.






But then again






It's water






So it wouldn't.






It's got integrity






And it's inanimate and devoid of sentience

Thirty Second Theater

Thirty Second Theater

Croydon Gothic

C'est Ci Art?

Small Dogs Only

Big ones won't fit in the microwave

Anagrams

You Sir!!!

You 

Are an anagram of a Danish King!!!

Bad never forks!!!

Sven Forkbeard you Cnut!!!

Fings Wot I Fink!!!

C'est Ci Art?

Thirty Second Theater

Each to their Own

I don't see the USP of stewed proper coffee?