Polish Restaurant Menu

My mother has never evidenced or will evidence any anti-Polish sentiment, whatsoever.






Unless they shit in her shoes.






Then she will hate them for ever.

Unique Hair Technique

They give you a crew cut then shit in your ear.

Urban Typography

I see faces

Catford's Finest

Ah my favourite, of Catford's many fine retail emporiums.






The Illuminated Turd.

Eat, Learn, Live

My kind of education.






Except for the learn bit.

The Art Shop

Conceptual in its execution.

OMG!!! EVEN MORE UWO!!!

'You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!'

Jack and Jill

The School Nurse is rushed off her feet.






And the amount of vinegar and brown paper they get through






Doesn't bear thinking about.

Bagshaws

I can't recommend them highly enough.






Especially extortion.






They are very good at extortion...






...and Chinese burns.






Oooh! Do they sting.

Weight Loss

Couldn't I just join Weight Watchers instead...






That looks painful...






...and what with the cost of petrol.

Peek

No it will ruin the surprise.

Urban Typography

Someone Very Beautiful

Just not you.












FAT PIG!!!

Decisions

Make up your mind.

My Love is Like a Red, Red Nose

Smartwater

Smartwater is a liquid,
To be applied to your valuables,
So the police can be aided,
when a thief steals your bangles.

Seen with ultravoilet light,
The owner can be determined,
The thief gives up without a fight,
and your stuff will be returned.

Generic Insults

I'm taking this personally.

Fun

I don't know what urology is but it looks great fun.






They look like they've had a whale of a time.





 Urology






Myology






Ourology






Theirology






Who cares who owns it.






As long as it makes people happy.





I wonder if it will make me popular.

Decisions

On one hand, Yak is a naturally lean, high protein, meat with a great balance of fatty acids that is both tender and delicious...






...on the other hand Yeti would be a rare, gustatory feast.






I wonder what I should have?






"Once You Go Yak, You Will Never Go Back!"

Architecture

What I like about it...






...is its so traditional.






I wonder if they also have a good example of crazy paving...






...and garden gnomes, they must have garden gnomes.






Goth gnomes of course.






Otherwise it just wouldn't work as an architectural whole.

Likeness

I think it would look more like him, if they had tried using eyes, a nose and a mouth.






Eyebrows are also good.






I hate conceptual art.

My Aim is True

...And if you don't...






We will shit in your mouth.

Brazilian Blow Dry

Ask for Rafael.






He's very good.






He can't do it for long though.






He has emphysema.

Keeping it Real

Mind you their Ersatz Breakfast is so much cheaper.






I love the smell of chicory in the morning.

Belongings

This is Hoss's hook.






Only Hoss can hang things up on this hook.






And one day...





Hoss will have something to hang up on this hook.

Eye Candy

Ocular Oxymoron.

Warning

?

Shopping List

My sentiments exactly.






Especially the bit about WD40.

Directions

That's what I like about London over other major cities.






It's consistently clear and concise directions.






EPHNT CAST sounds nice, maybe I will go there.






Or maybe W'LOO.






I do like an adventure.

No Vehicles Allowed Beyond This Point

Unless of course you are on a unicycle or space hopper when your vehicle would then probably fit.






HGVs though are a no no.

OMG! MORE UWO!!!

TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!!!